toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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