At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
