i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Randomize
