hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
