RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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