I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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