I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
