; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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