dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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