best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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