she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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