Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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