I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
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I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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