I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize