and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
