everyone is single if you try hard enough
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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