the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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