Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm sobbing to NWA
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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