we're blogging at a bar
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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