it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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