I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize