found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
