dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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