I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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