Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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