You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
