Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
