I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I supernannyed him into submission
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
