My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
