According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
