I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
