hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
