yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
