that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
