Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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