I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
