he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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