I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
