Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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