my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize