hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize