you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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