We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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