well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
worst night to have a conscience
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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