So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
