WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I intend to get homeless drunk
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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