He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
