what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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