If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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