Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
