I want to have your abortion
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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