i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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