Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
