How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
