I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
