new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I've blown a few things in my day
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
