Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
