Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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