Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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