Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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