I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
