chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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