Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
