just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
