So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
