Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
